I learned a really valuable lesson and accompanying tool a few years ago, all having to do with the power of words. In therapy, I’d say something to the effect of “Well, I can’t just stop being their friend,” and my therapist would respond, “If you say so.” Or this little gem that I would say referring to my work in therapy, or my life or when someone hurt me or WHATEVER. “It’s just really hard,” and he would say, “If you say so.” (You can really fill in the blank and it’s such a common expression I’m almost certain you’ve used it.)
This same principle works with seemingly innocuous statements, as well. If you’re a big fan of saying things like “Oh, I can’t wear skirts because I look too fat/short/thin/weird,” then guess what? It becomes true (to you). Really small things effectively become our truths simply because we state them as such.
“She’s just a really bossy person.”
“Girls are mean.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Their in a bad mood today.”
“I am not a good traveler.”
“I don’t look pretty with short hair.”
“I hate money.”
“Men are so stupid.”
Maya Angelou said once, “Words are things. They stick on the Walls. They touch us, and change us,” and it really spoke to me.
We create our own reality based on a set of beliefs. The thing is, when you start asking yourself if the statements you broadcast are true, you’ll likely surprise yourself. The goal is to correct your language and get rid of any statements that are actually not true. These range from serious and limiting beliefs – “I’ll never be able to afford a house” to seemingly smaller beliefs – “I can’t multi-task.”
Making this shift starts with self observation. Stop and really listen to yourself. All the small comments you make daily [like the statement I loathe the most – “I’m fine”] can be questioned. [Are you really fine? Maybe you’re happy or tired or sad. We have a LOT of words in the english language – use them!] Or tune into friends and really hear what they’re saying. Throw a little “If you say so,” their way so you start to notice patterns. In short, mean what you say, so you can say what you mean. And more importantly, so you can create the life you desire. It’s a liberating process resulting in the keen ability to truly hear what people are saying and it puts you on the path to creating the life you desire and manifesting your dreams.